Soso Answers: Breast Growth, Body Comments and Brain Changes (September 30 to October 7)

This week a lot of your questions were about change, and about the people around you while it happens. Many of you asked about breasts: whether there is any way to make them grow faster, and why yours seem to have stayed the same for months. Others wrote about a friend who keeps comparing bodies, wanted to know if you can get ready for PMS before it hits, felt stuck because a parent keeps saying no to a period kit, and asked a big one: does your brain change when you go through puberty? Here is what is really going on, what the research says, and exactly what to do.

Q1. Is there any way to make my breasts grow faster? Mine have looked the same for months.

This was the biggest topic of the week. Several of you asked if there is a trick to speed breasts up. Others said theirs have looked small or the same for five months or more, or that they look pointy, like a triangle, rather than round. A few asked when you should start wearing a bra or a crop top.

What is going on

Breasts usually start as a breast bud: a small, firm bump under the nipple that can feel tender or a bit itchy. For most girls, budding is the first visible sign of puberty. From there, breasts go through several stages. Cleveland Clinic describes five: flat, budding, rounder, fuller but not yet mature, and finally adult size and shape. A pointy or cone-like shape is simply one of the in-between stages before breasts fill out and round off.

The hormones that drive this are made by your own body on its own schedule. That is why one girl in your class can look very different from another girl who is the same age.

What the research actually says

It takes years, not months. The Center for Young Women's Health at Boston Children's Hospital says breast development usually takes between 3 and 5 years, and that it takes different people different amounts of time. Cleveland Clinic says most girls start somewhere between 8 and 13, and that development is usually complete by about 17. So a few months without visible change is a very small slice of a very long process.

Size is mostly in your genes. A study by Wade, Zhu and Martin looked at 1,010 adult Australian twin sisters. By comparing identical and non-identical twins, the researchers estimated that 56% of the difference in bra cup size between women came from genes. These were adult women reporting their own cup size, and the study says nothing about how fast breasts grow, but it fits what health services say: heredity is the biggest factor.

Nothing you buy speeds it up. KidsHealth says there is no cream or pill that can speed up breast growth or make breasts bigger. The Center for Young Women's Health says no creams, special exercises or clothing will permanently change breast size. KidsHealth also says a bra does not affect breast growth either way.

One side often starts first. The American Academy of Pediatrics says one breast usually begins to develop before the other, and that breasts are seldom exactly the same size. Many adult women have breasts that differ slightly, and that is normal.

What to do about it

1. Skip the products. Creams, pills, massage videos and "breast exercises" online do not change how your breasts grow. Save your money.
2. Eat and sleep for growth in general. Your whole body is growing right now. Regular meals, plenty of sleep and moving your body help that, even though no single food targets breasts.
3. Pick a bra or crop top for comfort, not for a timetable. There is no medical age to start. The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests a first bra when a girl asks for one or could use one. KidsHealth says a bra is a good idea once you have breasts, especially for sport. If your buds feel sore when you run or when your top rubs, a soft crop top or sports bra helps.
4. If you want to ask for one, try: "My chest feels sore in PE. Could we get a soft crop top or a sports bra this week?"
5. Stop measuring week to week. Check in every few months instead, if you want to at all. Change is slow and easy to miss.

A worked example

Lia has had breast buds for about half a year and feels like nothing is happening. Her friend has a "real" bra already. Lia reads that development often takes 3 to 5 years, so six months is early days. Her buds are sore in gym class, so she asks her dad for a soft crop top and wears it on PE days. She deletes the "grow bigger fast" video she saved and decides to stop checking in the mirror every morning.

When it is more than slow growth

Talk to a grown-up and a doctor if:

• Your breasts started growing before age 8.
• There are no signs of breast growth by age 13.
• You have pain in a breast that does not seem linked to your period.
• A breast is red, hot or swollen, or you have a fever.
• Fluid or blood comes out of a nipple.
• You find a new lump in your breast that is not the bud right under your nipple, or a lump in your armpit or near your collarbone.
• A nipple suddenly turns inward, or you notice any other new change in your breasts.

KidsHealth notes that breast cancer is extremely rare in teens, and that the most common lump at your age is part of normal breast growth. Still, any new lump or change in your breasts is worth showing to a grown-up and a doctor, so they can check it.

Q2. My friend keeps saying her body is better than mine. What do I say?

Several of you wrote about comments from other girls. One friend keeps saying her figure is better. Another girl comments on who wears a bra and what clothes people wear. A few of you said your friends have been plain rude lately, and one of you wanted to help a friend who was teased about having a crush.

What is going on

Puberty starts at different times for everyone, so in any class you will see bodies at every stage at once. That makes comparing very tempting. A comment like "my figure is better than yours" is not a fact about your body: everyone is just at a different point in the same changes.

What the research actually says

Body talk between friends is linked to how girls feel about their bodies. In a study by Carlson Jones, published in Developmental Psychology in 2004, 165 girls in grades 7 and 10 filled in questionnaires a year apart. For girls, a rise in body dissatisfaction over that year was linked to appearance conversations with friends and to comparing their looks with others. A second study by Jones, Vigfusdottir and Lee, with 433 girls and 347 boys, found that criticism of appearance from peers was linked directly to feeling worse about one's body. Both studies show links, not proof that one comment causes harm, but the pattern is clear: body talk is not harmless chit-chat.

Comparing is linked to feeling worse, especially when you are younger. A big review by Myers and Crowther in 2009 pulled together 156 studies and found that comparing your body with other people's was linked to more body dissatisfaction, and that the link was stronger in younger people.

Standing with someone often works. Hawkins, Pepler and Craig watched children in grades 1 to 6 on school playgrounds. Other kids were around for 88% of bullying episodes but stepped in only 19% of the time. When they did step in, 57% of those interventions stopped the bullying. Almost half of the interventions were aggressive, though, and aggression is not what we recommend. In a study of 7,481 children in grades 3 to 5 led by Sainio, kids who had at least one classmate defending them were better adjusted and had better standing in their class. These studies were with younger children, but they show that one person on your side matters.

What to do about it

1. Use a short, calm line, then change the subject. You do not need to win. Try: "Every body grows at a different time. Anyway, did you finish the maths homework?"
2. Name it once, kindly, if it keeps happening. "When you compare our bodies it makes me feel bad. Can we not do that?" Say it in private, not in front of the group.
3. Do not join the comparing. Saying "well, at least I..." keeps the game going. Leaving the conversation ends it.
4. Curate your feed. If certain accounts leave you comparing, mute them for a week and notice how you feel.
5. To help a friend who was teased: go and stand with her, walk with her to the next class, and say something simple like "That was not okay. Are you alright?" KidsHealth suggests sticking up for the person, telling the teaser to stop if it feels safe, and telling an adult. You do not have to confront anyone on your own.
6. If a friendship keeps feeling mean, it is okay to spend more time with people who make you feel good.

A worked example

At lunch on Tuesday, Bia's friend says again that her body looks better than Bia's. Bia says, "Everyone grows at a different time," and asks who is coming to the library. On Thursday it happens again, so after school Bia messages her: "Hey, the body comments make me feel bad. Can we stop comparing?" Her friend replies "sorry, didn't realise." The next week, a girl in their class gets teased about a crush. Bia walks over, stands next to her and says, "Come on, let's go to art." Later she tells their teacher what happened.

When it is more than a mean comment

Tell a trusted adult if comments keep happening after you have asked them to stop, if you are being left out on purpose or teased online, or if the comments are making you skip meals, avoid school, or feel bad about yourself most days. If the feelings ever get so big that they scare you, tell a grown-up you trust straight away.

Q3. Is it possible to prepare for PMS? And why does mine keep changing?

A few of you asked if you can avoid PMS, or at least get ready for it. Others said you have been having "PMS signs" like cramps and sore breasts for a while, that they were mild one month and stronger the next, but that your period has not started yet.

What is going on

PMS stands for premenstrual syndrome. Doctors describe it as symptoms that start after ovulation, which is when an egg is released, and go away soon after a period begins. Common ones are sore breasts, bloating, cramps, tiredness and mood changes.

That definition matters if you have not had a period yet. Doctors agree that in the first years after a first period, many cycles do not release an egg at all. So before your first period, what feels like PMS is often something else that is just as normal: growing breast buds can be sore, and discharge often appears before periods start. Cramps are different: they are not common before a first period, so tummy pain is worth mentioning to a grown-up. These changes can come and go, so it is normal for them to feel stronger some weeks and lighter others.

What the research actually says

Premenstrual symptoms are common, but the numbers swing a lot. Reviews give very different figures depending on where the study was done and how symptoms were counted. One review across 17 studies found rates ranging from 12% in France to 98% in Iran. So we will not give you one tidy number. The honest version is: lots of teens notice symptoms before their period, and lots do not.

They often take a while to show up. In a study of 1,290 Japanese students aged 15 to 19 by Yoshimi and colleagues, about half reported premenstrual symptoms, and the typical time between a first period and first noticing them was 2 years. That relied on students remembering back, so treat it as a rough picture.

Tracking is how doctors tell PMS apart. A review for family doctors by Hofmeister and Bodden says the most accurate way to identify PMS is to record symptoms day by day for at least two cycles. The NHS gives the same advice.

Exercise may help. A review by Pearce and colleagues of 15 trials found exercise may reduce PMS symptoms, but the authors say uncertainty remains: most trials were at high risk of bias, and the people studied were older teens and adults, not younger girls.

Calcium might help, but the evidence is thin. A review by Arab and colleagues found studies suggesting calcium may ease PMS. Almost all of them gave adult women supplements, most were small, and the NHS says there is not much evidence. Milk, yoghurt, cheese, tofu and leafy greens are good for growing bones anyway. Do not take supplements unless an adult and a doctor decide you should.

Cutting caffeine is not proven. You will often read that you should cut caffeine for PMS. A large study of adult nurses by Purdue-Smithe and colleagues found caffeine was not linked to developing PMS, and the authors say the advice rests on limited evidence.

What to do about it

1. Start a symptom log now. In Soso, note sore breasts, cramps, mood and energy each day. If your period has not started yet, this still builds your picture.
2. Move most days. Walking, dancing, cycling or a sport you like. Regular movement is what the trials tested, not one workout on a bad day.
3. Eat regularly. The NHS suggests smaller meals every 2 to 3 hours can feel better around PMS. Calcium foods like yoghurt, milk or cheese are a good everyday habit for growing bones.
4. Protect your sleep. Aim for the same bedtime each night in the days before you expect symptoms.
5. Plan a gentle day. If your log shows a pattern, put fewer big things on those days and keep a heat pack ready for cramps.
6. If you need pain relief, ask an adult. Pain relief tends to work best when started early, around when cramps begin. An adult decides the medicine and the amount for your age and weight.

A worked example

Julia's log shows sore breasts and tiredness on and off for two months, and no period yet. She notices the soreness is worse after PE, so she switches to a soft sports bra. She keeps walking to school, adds yoghurt to her breakfast and logs how she feels each evening. When her period does start a few months later, she already knows her body's pattern and can see whether the symptoms line up with her cycle.

When it is more than PMS

Tell a grown-up and see a doctor if:

• Symptoms stop you going to school or doing things you enjoy, or lifestyle changes do not help after a couple of months.
• Your mood feels low most days, or the days before your period bring feelings so strong that they get in the way of school, friends or home.
• A breast is red, hot or swollen, you have a fever with breast pain, fluid or blood comes from a nipple, you find a lump in your armpit or near your collarbone, or breast pain does not seem to follow your cycle.
• You get tummy pain that comes back around the same time each month, or keeps getting worse, but no blood ever appears, especially if your breasts have been growing for a while, or if it ever hurts or is hard to pee. Very rarely the opening of the vagina is closed, which stops blood coming out, and a doctor can check this easily.

If the feelings ever get so big that they scare you, or you do not feel able to keep yourself safe, tell a grown-up you trust straight away.

Q4. I keep asking my mum for a period kit and she keeps saying no. What can I do?

A few of you said you have asked a parent for a period kit, more than once, and keep hearing no. One of you said that when you mentioned the sticky stuff in your underwear, your mum reacted in a way that confused you.

What is going on

A "no" from a parent can feel like they are not taking you seriously. Often the reason is different. Some parents think it is too early. Some feel awkward or embarrassed talking about periods. Some think you already know everything. And some simply did not realise how much it matters to you.

The sticky stuff in your underwear is discharge. Sticky, clear or white discharge is a normal sign that your body is getting ready for periods, and it is nothing you did wrong. If it ever changes, our guide "Discharge, Smell and Staying Fresh" lists the signs that mean it is worth showing a grown-up and a doctor.

What the research actually says

Parents often feel unsure, not uncaring. A study of 390 mothers in Ethiopia by Olika and colleagues found that about 29% said they could not talk about menstruation because they felt embarrassed, and about 24% believed their daughters already knew. That is one region of one country, but it shows these feelings are common.

Health experts say kits belong before the first period. The American Academy of Pediatrics says once breast development has started, parents and daughters should talk about periods fully, and that parents should make sure their daughter has the supplies she needs for her first period. It also suggests putting pads and liners in a backpack or locker ahead of time.

Talking ahead helps you feel prepared. In a study of 405 girls in Mexico aged 12 to 15, only 39% felt prepared for their first period. Girls who had talked about the emotional side with their mothers beforehand were much more likely to feel prepared.

What to do about it

1. Pick a calm moment. Not when someone is rushing out the door. A car ride or washing up together works well.
2. Explain why, not just what. Try: "My body has started changing and I have discharge now. I read that's a sign periods can start. I would feel calmer with a small kit in my bag. Could we make one together?"
3. Ask what is behind the no. "Is it that you think it's too early, or is something else worrying you?" Then listen.
4. Offer a small version. A kit can be tiny: two pads, a spare pair of underwear, and a small zip bag. That is easier to say yes to.
5. Show a source. Health sites like the NHS and the American Academy of Pediatrics both say to have pads ready before the first period. Sometimes a parent just needs to hear it from a doctor.
6. Try another trusted adult. A grandparent, aunt, older cousin or the school nurse. Many schools keep pads for anyone who needs one, so ask.

A worked example

Clara asks her mum again on a Saturday walk. This time she says, "I know you think it's early. But I have discharge now and I worry about being at school without anything." Her mum admits she thought Clara was too young to need it. Clara suggests just two pads and spare pants in a pencil case. Her mum agrees, and says they will pick a few things together next week.

When it is more than a "not yet"

If a grown-up keeps saying no and you have started bleeding, tell another trusted adult or the school nurse that day. You should never have to manage a period without products. And if you feel you cannot talk to anyone at home about your body at all, tell a teacher or school nurse you trust.

Q5. Does my brain change at puberty? Is that why I suddenly want to go out on my own?

One of you asked if your brain is different before and after your first period. Another wondered why you suddenly want to go out alone, even without telling anyone.

What is going on

Your brain does change during puberty, but not in one go, and not on the day of your first period. It changes gradually, over years. Researchers think puberty hormones play a part alongside age and experience.

Wanting more independence is a normal part of growing up. The American Academy of Pediatrics says pre-teens aged 10 to 13 feel an increased need for privacy and may start exploring ways to be independent from their family.

What the research actually says

There is no "before and after" switch. A review by Blakemore, Burnett and Dahl in 2010 says very few studies have linked brain development to stage of puberty, and calls the evidence tentative. A later review by Vijayakumar and colleagues in 2018 found puberty is linked to brain changes, but also found many inconsistent results. Neither describes a sudden change at a first period.

Friends really do change decisions. In a lab study by Gardner and Steinberg, 306 people played a driving game alone or with two friends watching. Everyone took more risks with friends around, but the effect was stronger in teens aged 13 to 16 than in adults. In a small brain-scan study by Chein and colleagues with 40 people aged 14 to 29, teens took many more risks when they knew two friends were watching, young adults a little more, and adults did not change. Reward areas of the teens' brains were more active. The excitement of doing things with friends is real.

There is no finish line at 25. A 2025 study by Mousley and colleagues looked at brain scans from about 3,800 people aged 0 to 90. It found turning points in how the brain is wired around ages 9, 32, 66 and 83, with one long stretch from about 9 to 32. Your brain keeps changing gradually for many years.

Telling a parent where you are is linked to staying out of trouble. In a study of 703 14-year-olds in Sweden, Stattin and Kerr found that parents mostly knew what their teens were doing because the teens told them, and that this telling was most closely linked to fewer problems with breaking rules. It is a link, not proof: it does not show that telling causes fewer problems.

What to do about it

1. Notice the feeling without acting on it in secret. Wanting freedom is normal. Sneaking out is the part that can put you in danger, because nobody knows where to look if something goes wrong.
2. Ask for a specific step. "Can I walk to Ana's house on my own on Saturday? I'll text you when I arrive and when I leave."
3. Offer a deal. Freedom in exchange for check-ins: a time to be home, a text on arrival, and your phone charged.
4. Build trust with small wins. Keep the first deal perfectly, then ask for the next step.
5. Have an exit plan. Agree a code word you can text if you want to be picked up, no questions asked that night.

A worked example

Mia keeps wanting to go to the park alone after school. Instead of slipping out, she tells her mum: "I want to start doing more on my own. Could I go to the park with Ana on Fridays until 5, if I text when I get there?" Her mum agrees to try it for a month. Mia texts every time. A month later, she asks if they can stay until 6.

When it is more than wanting freedom

Tell a trusted adult if someone you met online asks you to meet in secret, if anyone pressures you to go somewhere without telling your family, or if you feel you need to get away from home because you do not feel safe there.

The bottom line

The thread running through this week's questions is timing: your body, your friends and your family are all moving at different speeds, and that can feel uncomfortable. The good news is that almost every one of these differences is normal.

• Breasts take years to develop, and creams, pills and exercises do not change that. Comfort decides when you wear a bra.
• When friends compare bodies, a calm line and a change of subject is a kinder move than comparing back. Standing with a teased friend matters.
• PMS is defined as coming after ovulation. Before your first period, sore breasts and discharge are often puberty itself, while tummy pain is worth mentioning to a grown-up. Movement, regular meals, sleep and a symptom log are your best preparation.
• If a parent says no to a period kit, ask what is behind it, offer a tiny version, and try another trusted adult if you need to.
• Your brain changes gradually through puberty. Wanting freedom is normal, and keeping your family in the loop about where you are is a good way to ask for more of it.

One small next step: open Soso and start logging how you feel each day, even before your first period. In a few months, you will have your own map.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal for one breast to hurt more than the other?

Yes. One breast often starts growing before the other, so it can be sore first. Tell a grown-up and see a doctor if a breast is red, hot or swollen, you have a fever with breast pain, fluid or blood comes out of a nipple, or you find a new lump in your armpit or near your collarbone.

Can sleeping on my front stop my breasts from growing?

No. Breast growth is driven by your genes and hormones, not by how you sleep. If lying on your front feels sore while your buds are growing, sleeping on your side or back can be more comfortable.

What is a training bra?

It is a soft, light bra or crop top with little or no shaping. It is mostly for comfort and to stop rubbing. You can wear one whenever you want, and some girls never bother.

Can I get cramps before my first period?

Cramps before a first period are not common. Period cramps usually start months after periods begin. A tummy ache can have other causes, like constipation, so tell a grown-up and ask to see a doctor about it. If the pain is severe, is on one side, or comes with fever or vomiting, tell a grown-up straight away so you can be seen that day.

What should go in a first period kit?

Two or three pads, a spare pair of underwear, a small zip bag for anything used, and a few wipes or tissues. Keep it in a pencil case or small pouch in your school bag.

What if a friend shares something about my body online?

Do not reply in anger. If it is a comment, you can screenshot it as proof. If it is a photo or video of your body, do not screenshot, save or forward it, even as proof. Block or mute the person, report the post, and tell a trusted adult straight away so they can help get it taken down. It is never your fault.

Is it okay to want more privacy from my parents?

Yes. Wanting privacy is a normal part of growing up. You can ask for it calmly, for example a knock before people come into your room, while still keeping your family in the loop about where you are.

Where this comes from

We checked every claim in this post against these sources:

• Cleveland Clinic, "Breast Development," 2025. Describes the five stages of breast growth, says most girls start between 8 and 13, and advises talking to a doctor about growth before 8 or no growth by 13.
• Center for Young Women's Health, Boston Children's Hospital, "Breast Health: General Information," 2025. Says breast development usually takes 3 to 5 years, that heredity is the most important factor in size, and that creams, exercises and clothing do not permanently change it.
• Wade TD, Zhu G, Martin NG, "Body Mass Index and Breast Size in Women: Same or Different Genes?," Twin Research and Human Genetics, 2010. In 1,010 adult twins, genes explained an estimated 56% of the difference in cup size.
• Nemours KidsHealth, "Breasts and Bras." Says heredity and weight mostly decide breast size, no cream or pill speeds up growth, and a bra is a good idea once you have breasts, especially for sport.
• Nemours KidsHealth, "Can Bras Affect Breast Growth?," 2020. Says a bra does not affect breast growth.
• Texas Children's, "Breast Development." Says growing breasts can be tender and sore and may itch.
• Nemours KidsHealth, "Breast Exams," 2017. Lists breast changes that need a doctor and notes breast cancer is extremely rare in teens.
• American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org, "Concerns Girls Have About Puberty," 2015. Says one breast usually develops first, and that parents should talk about periods once breasts start and make sure supplies are ready.
• Carlson Jones D, "Body image among adolescent girls and boys: a longitudinal study," Developmental Psychology, 2004. In girls, appearance conversations with friends and appearance comparison were linked to rising body dissatisfaction over a year.
• Jones DC, Vigfusdottir TH, Lee Y, "Body Image and the Appearance Culture Among Adolescent Girls and Boys," Journal of Adolescent Research, 2004. Peer appearance criticism was linked to body dissatisfaction.
• Myers TA, Crowther JH, "Social comparison as a predictor of body dissatisfaction: A meta-analytic review," Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 2009. Across 156 studies, comparison was linked to body dissatisfaction, more strongly in younger people.
• Hawkins DL, Pepler DJ, Craig WM, "Naturalistic Observations of Peer Interventions in Bullying," Social Development, 2001. Peers stepped in during 19% of episodes, and 57% of interventions stopped the bullying.
• Sainio M, Veenstra R, Huitsing G, Salmivalli C, "Victims and their defenders: A dyadic approach," International Journal of Behavioral Development, 2011. Children with a defender were better adjusted and had better social standing.
• Center for Young Women's Health, Boston Children's Hospital, "Cramps before period." Says cramps before periods start are uncommon and worth seeing a health provider about.
• UK Government, "Sharing nudes and semi-nudes: advice for education settings," 2024. Says nude or semi-nude images of under-18s must never be copied, saved or shared.
• Nemours KidsHealth, "Dealing With Bullies," 2023. Suggests sticking up for a friend, walking together, and telling an adult.
• Hofmeister S, Bodden S, "Premenstrual Syndrome and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder," American Family Physician, 2016. Defines PMS as starting after ovulation and recommends tracking symptoms for at least two cycles.
• Direkvand-Moghadam A, et al., "Epidemiology of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS): A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis Study," Journal of Clinical and Diagnostic Research, 2014. Found PMS estimates ranging from 12% to 98% across countries.
• Yoshimi K, Matsumura N, Takeda T, "When and how do adolescent girls in Japan become aware of premenstrual symptoms from menarche?," BMJ Open, 2021. Students typically noticed symptoms about 2 years after their first period.
• Pearce E, et al., "Exercise for premenstrual syndrome: a systematic review and meta-analysis of randomised controlled trials," BJGP Open, 2020. Exercise may reduce PMS symptoms, with uncertainty because most trials had a high risk of bias.
• Arab A, Rafie N, Askari G, Taghiabadi M, "Beneficial Role of Calcium in Premenstrual Syndrome: A Systematic Review of Current Literature," International Journal of Preventive Medicine, 2020. Calcium may help, based on small studies that mostly gave supplements to adult women.
• Purdue-Smithe AC, et al., "A prospective study of caffeine and coffee intake and premenstrual syndrome," American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 2016. Caffeine was not linked to developing PMS in adult women.
• NHS, "PMS (premenstrual syndrome)." Recommends exercise, regular meals, sleep and a symptom diary for at least two cycles, says there is not much evidence for calcium, and describes much stronger premenstrual feelings that need a doctor.
• NHS, "Breast pain." Lists breast changes that need a doctor quickly, such as a red, hot or swollen breast or a high temperature.
• Kleina J, et al., "Severe Abdominal Pain Mimicking Appendicitis Caused by Imperforate Hymen: Case Report and Narrative Review," Pediatric Reports, 2026. Describes monthly tummy pain with no bleeding as the usual sign of a rare, treatable closed vaginal opening.
• NHS, "Starting your periods." Suggests carrying pads in advance, keeping spare pants at school or in your bag, and asking a teacher or the school nurse if you are caught without a pad.
• Olika AK, et al., "Mothers' intentions to discuss menstruation-related topics with their daughters using the theory of planned behavior," Pan African Medical Journal, 2025. Many mothers said embarrassment kept them from talking.
• Marván ML, Molina-Abolnik M, "Mexican Adolescents' Experience of Menarche and Attitudes Toward Menstruation: Role of Communication Between Mothers and Daughters," Journal of Pediatric and Adolescent Gynecology, 2012. Girls who talked about it with their mothers beforehand were more likely to feel prepared.
• American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org, "Physical Development in Girls: What to Expect During Puberty," 2019. Suggests having pads ready and in the backpack before the first period.
• Blakemore SJ, Burnett S, Dahl RE, "The role of puberty in the developing adolescent brain," Human Brain Mapping, 2010. Says evidence linking brain development to puberty is still tentative.
• Vijayakumar N, et al., "Puberty and the human brain: Insights into adolescent development," Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews, 2018. Puberty is linked to brain maturation, with many inconsistent findings.
• Gardner M, Steinberg L, "Peer influence on risk taking, risk preference, and risky decision making in adolescence and adulthood," Developmental Psychology, 2005. Friends watching increased risk-taking, more in teens than adults.
• Chein J, et al., "Peers increase adolescent risk taking by enhancing activity in the brain's reward circuitry," Developmental Science, 2011. In a small scan study, teens took more risks with friends watching, young adults slightly more, adults no more.
• Mousley A, et al., "Topological turning points across the human lifespan," Nature Communications, 2025. In scans from about 3,800 people aged 0 to 90, found turning points in brain wiring around ages 9, 32, 66 and 83.
• Stattin H, Kerr M, "Parental monitoring: a reinterpretation," Child Development, 2000. Teens telling parents where they were was most closely linked to fewer rule-breaking problems.
• American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org, "Stages of Adolescence," 2024. Says pre-teens feel a growing need for privacy and independence.

This post is for information and does not replace a doctor. If something about your body worries you, talk to a trusted adult and a health professional.